Gandi Baat

Listen to this on-

https://www.dropbox.com/s/828ju5h642g59rq/Gandi%20Baat.wav?dl=0

I promise it would be more fun to listen to rather than just read :)

Gandi Baat

Overnight stardom,
stuff the movies are made of, ain't it?
One day you are a wishy-washy nobody,
a lacklustre, slimy being
others go to just for the minimal necessity,
totally run-of-the-mill non-dude
no one looks at twice.
As prosaic as this writing...
You wouldn't know me from a bar of soap!

And suddenly, comes a teeny tiny being, my very own guardian angel!
Scary as shit little dude, making everyone wet their pants.
No one flies high anymore, huh?!?
My angel is a great equalizer.
Like little mice it made you all
scurry away in your little holes.
Afraid to touch, afraid to even breathe
How the mighty fall!

Oh now you notice me do you?!?
No longer do you see me as lacklustre
but instead see the
little rainbows in my airy creations
I am your knight in shining armor,
Your protector
Your defender
You look at me with respect now
lovingly, caringly, even zealously rubbing me between your palms,
so much so that I get under your skins.
You rub and rub your hands as if they are two lovers meeting after decades
I am the lubricant and the protector
preventing the birth of little baby hands!

It is my love-hate relationship with water that makes me "the dude" (step aside Lebowski)
I guess, I need to explain to you numbnuts.
You see,
my head is like totally in love with water, but my tail hates the shit out of it
being in love with its rivals- oils and fats.
My water hating tail
shoves itself in the walls of these little guys which makes you all ill and shit.
I pry those guys apart
sending them to their brutal deaths.
Ahhh what sadistic pleasure!

But wait a minute you all knew that since ages....
Why the sudden infatuation?
What?!? What!!!!!
You saying, he is one of those little guys!!!
You making me killl my own guardian angel!
Isn't there always a catch with you guys?!
Bloody manipulative, selfish dude-haters
You are worse than rats, you're nothing but soap scum! (Oh you can't tell me to wash my mouth out with soap, can you!)
You make me reach glory,
make me a hero,
by making me kill my own champion!

So much for stardom!!
But hope you remember my sacrifice
I refuse to fade away
My heroism will always keep bubbling
Remember- mein hoon jahan, tandooroosti hain wahan!
And don't you dare wash your hands off "washing your hands"
This is one soap opera
whose TRPs should never drop
Yep, I am clever like that

Now come on, keep the phone away
Time to meet me
Let's get your needy needy palms all wet and slick and drenched
Clean, I mean clean!